五月，我重新打开了那个网站

去年九月，我买下了 withrenee.me。那时候，我想做一个自己的网站，已经想了很久。

这些年写的东西散在各处，公众号一点，社交媒体一点，课程平台一点。时间久了，我常常想不起某篇文章发在哪里。有时候想找回自己写过的一句话，要翻上好几个地方。

我想把它们收回来，放到同一个域名底下。不用很大，只要在那里就好。

买下域名那天，我很兴奋，甚至已经开始想象它以后会长成什么样子。后来才知道，没那么容易。

我原本以为，最难的是把内容放上去，后来发现不是。真正花时间的，反而是那些看起来不太重要的东西：字体、留白、菜单栏、按钮放在哪里、一句话该放在页面的左边还是右边、手机打开会不会跑版。

每改一点，就冒出新的问题。很多时候我连自己卡在哪里都说不清楚，只知道越改越乱。

于是网站就那样停在那里，偶尔推进一点，然后又停下来。前后停了八个月。

今年年初，我给自己定了个目标，认真用一阵 AI，别再只是听别人讲。这几年走到哪里都有人在讨论它，有人兴奋，有人担心。而我最不喜欢的，就是别人已经吵了很久，自己却从来没有亲手试过。所以我决定下场看看。

最开始其实很平常。我用 ChatGPT，后来也用 Gemini，写东西的时候让它帮我整理思路，做研究的时候让它帮我归纳资料。偶尔会被它惊到，一个想了很久都没找到的说法，它忽然就给了出来；一团乱糟糟的想法，它几分钟就理清楚了。

但如果你那时候问我，AI 有没有真正改变我的生活，其实没有。我照样上课，照样写作，照样带读书会，照样准备工作坊，日子没什么不同。

直到五月。

五月，我开始用 Claude Code。有一天晚上，我重新打开了那个躺了八个月的网站，然后开始改。那天晚上，我没有关电脑。

首页应该是什么感觉，哪些内容该留，哪些该删，为什么我不喜欢某个设计，为什么总觉得有些地方太满、有些地方又太吵。很多时候我说不出原因，只能说，这里不太对，这里还差一点，我不知道为什么，但我不喜欢。

然后就继续试。改一版，看一版，删一点，再改一点，来来回回。有一天晚上，我们花了很久去琢磨一句话，首页最上面那一句，写了又删，删了又改，改完还是觉得不对。最后留下来的那一版，也许没有多少人会特别注意，但我记得。

后来很多朋友以为，这个网站是几天做出来的，其实不是，是整整一个月。几乎每天都在改，有时候改一个页面，有时候改一句话，有时候只是把一个按钮挪个位置。有一天，我盯着同一段文字看了很久，最后只删掉两个字。

也是在那个五月，我开始注意到一件以前没怎么想过的事。过去很多时候，一个想法冒出来，我只能先把它留在自己这里，反复琢磨，反复修改，等它长得足够完整，再拿出来。而那一个月，我发现自己开始把很多还没想清楚的东西直接丢出去。有时候只是一句「这里好像不太对」，有时候甚至连问题都还算不上，只是一个模糊的感觉。

网站上线那天，我没有发朋友圈，也没有庆祝，只是坐在电脑前，看着首页打开，看了很久。

然后想起去年九月买下域名的那个晚上。那时候的我不会想到，这个拖了八个月的网站，会在五月重新动起来，更不会想到，最后把它做出来的过程，会是这个样子。

现在它就在那儿了。

withrenee.me。

Renée

伊伊老师

WithRenee.Me

I bought withrenee.me last September. By then I’d wanted a site of my own for a long time.

What I’d written over the years was scattered everywhere — a little on one platform, a little on social media, a little on the sites where I taught. After a while I’d lose track of where a piece had gone, and when I wanted to find a line I knew I’d written, I’d have to dig through three or four places to find it.

I wanted to pull it all back, under one domain. It didn’t have to be big. It just had to be there.

The day I bought it, I was excited, already picturing what it would become. It took me a while to see it wasn’t that simple.

I’d assumed the hard part would be getting the writing onto the page. It wasn’t. What actually ate the time were the things that looked like they shouldn’t matter: the font, the white space, the navigation bar, where a button sat, whether a sentence belonged on the left of the page or the right, whether the layout broke when you opened it on a phone.

Every small change turned up a new one. Half the time I couldn’t even say where I was stuck, only that the more I changed, the worse it got.

So the site just sat there. A push every now and then, then nothing. It sat like that for eight months.

Early this year I set myself a goal: to actually use AI for a while, instead of only listening to other people talk about it. For a few years now, everywhere I go, someone has been talking about it — some thrilled, some worried. And the state I like least is the one where everyone’s been arguing for ages and I’ve never once tried the thing myself. So I decided to get in and look around.

The early months were ordinary. I used ChatGPT, then Gemini, having it help me organize my thinking when I wrote and condense material when I researched. Now and then it caught me off guard: a phrase I’d been chasing for ages, handed to me out of nowhere; a tangle of half-thoughts, sorted out in a couple of minutes.

But if you’d asked me back then whether AI had actually changed my life, it hadn’t. I still taught, still wrote, still ran the book club, still prepped my workshops. The days were no different.

Until May.

In May I started using Claude Code. One night I opened the website again — the one that had been lying there for eight months — and started changing things. I didn’t turn the computer off that night.

What the home page should feel like, what to keep, what to cut, why I didn’t like a certain design, why some parts always struck me as too full and others as too loud. A lot of the time I couldn’t name the reason. All I could say was that it wasn’t right, that it was still a little off, that I didn’t know why but I didn’t like it.

So we kept trying. Change a version, look at it, cut a little, change a little more, back and forth. One night we spent a long time on a single sentence, the one at the very top of the home page — wrote it, deleted it, rewrote it, and still felt it was wrong. The version that finally stayed is probably one most people won’t particularly notice. But I remember it.

A lot of friends assumed afterward that the site had been built in a few days. It wasn’t. It was a full month. I changed something almost every day — sometimes a page, sometimes a sentence, sometimes just the position of a button. One day I stared at the same paragraph for a long time and, in the end, cut two words.

That May, I also started noticing something I hadn’t really thought about before. For a long time, when an idea surfaced, it could only stay with me; I’d turn it over and over, revise it, and wait until it was complete enough before bringing it out anywhere. That month, I found myself putting things out long before they were finished. Sometimes just a line — “this doesn’t seem right.” Sometimes not even a question yet, only a vague feeling.

The day the site went live, I didn’t post about it, and I didn’t celebrate. I just sat at the computer, watching the home page load, and looked at it for a long time.

Then I thought back to the night last September when I’d bought the domain. The person I was then wouldn’t have guessed that this site, stalled for eight months, would start moving again in May — and she certainly wouldn’t have guessed that the way it finally got built would look like this.

It’s there now.

withrenee.me.

Renée

伊伊老师

WithRenee.Me